Woman who constantly borrows things without returning them asks neighbor to cover $85 grocery bill, ices her out when she refuses: 'She used my Wi-Fi for a month without offering to chip in'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jul 18, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Once you live long enough, you start being able to exercise judgment about who you can lend things to and who you don't trust. Some folks are great at getting your stuff back to you in a timely manner, unharmed. Others may take some reminding, but they'll get back to you eventually. And some of us are bottomless pits. You can chuck anything in there you'd like, and you'll never see it again. But odds are you've gone through some trials and tribulations in order to get that information. You've lost a book or two, so you know not to lend out your wedding dress to just anyone. Actually, maybe it should go to no one. 

But setting boundaries with these bottomless pit people can be difficult to do, because they don't always know that they're bottomless pits. They might think of themselves as regular people, but you have to be the one to remind them. 

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  • 01

    AITA for not covering my neighbor's grocery bill after they repeatedly borrowed my stuff without returning it?

    I (24F) live in an apartment building and have a neighbor, Kyah (27F), who's friendly but a bit careless. Over the past six months, Kyah's borrowed several things from me tools, a ladder, even my Wi-Fi password when her internet was down. I didn't mind at first, but she's
    via u/Wildthings501
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10530838784
    via Anastasiia Parukh

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this situation where one woman got wise to the kind of neighbor she was dealing with. After suffering a few losses, she started to learn better. And when she asked her for financial help, she knew to run for the hills. Read on to see what happened between these two. 

  • 03
    terrible about returning stuff. My screwdriver set is still missing, she kept my ladder for weeks until I asked for it back, and she used my Wi-Fi for a month without offering to chip in for the bill. Each time, I've been polite and let it slide, thinking she'd get better about it. Last weekend, I ran into Kyah at the grocery store. She was at the
    via u/Wildthings501
  • 04
    checkout with a cart full of stuff but realized she'd forgotten her wallet. She asked if I could cover her $85 bill, promising to pay me back that evening. I hesitated because of her track record with my stuff and because I'm on a tight budget myself. I told her I could spot her $20 for
    via u/Wildthings501
  • 05
    essentials but couldn't cover the whole bill, especially since it included things like expensive snacks and beer. She got frustrated, saying I was unneighborly and that she'd have done the same for me. She ended up leaving most of her items behind and only buying what she could with the cash she found in her pocket. Since
    via u/Wildthings501
  • 06
    then, Kyah's been giving me the cold shoulder, and another neighbor said Kyah called me stingy. I feel bad because I know forgetting a wallet is stressful, and maybe I could've helped more since we're neighbors. But I also feel like her pattern of borrowing without reciprocating made me wary. AITA for not covering her full grocery bill?
    via u/Wildthings501
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10530840576
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08

    Commenters came to her defense in this dispute.

    Mediocre-Amoeba-8... • 21h ago Since you are stingy, that means you no longer need to loan her things....
    via u/Mediocre-Amoeba-8329
  • 09
    Wildthings501 OP • 21h ago If being stingy helps keep valuable stuffs, Then Yes! Someone is feeling entitled
    via u/Wildthings501
  • 10
    Brilliant_Bus7419 . 21h ago NTA. She's giving you the cold shoulder? You say that like it's a bad thing.
    via u/Brilliant_Bus7419
  • 11
    United-Manner20 21h ago • NTA- change the WiFi password and let her go silent. You owe her nothing.
    via u/United-Manner20
  • 12
    Cal-Augustus • 21h ago Kyah's been giving you the cold shoulder?? She's not talking to you? Not even to borrow your stuff?? YAY!! You win!
    via u/Cal-Augustus
  • 13
    StAlvis 21h ago NTA She was at the checkout with a cart full of stuff but realized she'd forgotten her wallet. So she can tap her phone.
    via u/StAlvis
  • 14
    Condensed_Sarcasm • 21h ago NTA. Your neighbor is a user and she'll keep walking all over you if you let her. Get all your stuff back and change your wi-fi password. Then stop 'helping' her. She's just going to drain you.
    via u/Condensed_Sarcasm
  • 15
    Wildthings501 OP 21h ago Moral lesson: It is really important to Set Boundaries with people!
    via u/Wildthings501
  • 16
    AsparagusOverall8454 21h ago . Girl, stop being such a doormat. This person isn't your friend.
    via u/AsparagusOverall8454
  • 17
    Big And Tall1968 • 21h ago Six months? I would have stopped after the first thing she didn't return. Oh, you want to borrow item #2? Bring back item #1. You're NTA and far nicer than I would be.
    via u/BigAndTall1968
  • 18
    Ratchet_gurl24 • 21h ago Please secure your WiFi password. It's not community property.
    via u/Ratchet_gurl24
  • 19
    . RoyallyOakie • 21h ago NTA...It was ridiculous of her to even ask you. Hopefully she'll stop borrowing things as well. If she tries, be sure to mention how stingy you are.
    via u/RoyallyOakie
  • 20
    • stophittingthyself 21h ago NTA Unfortunately I've seen similar things happen to my friends before. She has found a 'mark' with you and will keep on asking because you've said yes. I say this with love: sometimes people pleasing is just falling for a scam. Now you're not an easy mark, she'll hopefully leave you alone.
    via u/stophittingthyself
  • 21
    CPSue 21h ago . I knew someone like her. Generosity only flows in one direction and all of her relationships were transactional in her favor. I suggest you cheerfully accept the role of Stingy Neighbor and welcome the cold shoulder
    via u/CPSue
  • 22
    because it means she's not going to ask you for help if she knows it won't get her anything. If another neighbor comments, you can respond with, "I have no problem with being called stingy if being stingy means I refuse to lend things to people who don't return them." That says everything they need to know. NTA
    via u/CPSue
  • 23
    Former-Increase-9165 • 21h ago Congrats!!!! You've finally stood up to the moocher!!! Go to her and get ALL your stuff back, and then tell everyone how she leeches off of people,,, and be glad you cut ties with the leech,,,,
    via u/Former-Increase-9165
  • 24
    WholeAd2742 • 21h ago NTA She's a mooch and needs to return your stuff before begging for more
    via u/WholeAd2742
  • 25
    Individual_Ad_9213 · 21h ago NTA. You weren't being stingy, your were being frugal and smart. She's already shown herself to be a bad credit risk. So unless you have the money to lose, it's unwise to "loan" he anything.
    via u/Individual_Ad_9213

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